You-know-what has hit the fan!

The disappearance of Mickey Wayne has escalated into a full-blown criminal investigation. The news was on the front page of Wednesday's newspaper. There was even a report on the local AM radio station.

There has been rumors that the sheriff and his deputies will be conducting interviews with people from Mickey Wayne's local bar that he regularly visits. Which is also our local bar that we regularly visit. We're waiting to see if the sheriff interviews us.

This is really big news for our small community. Mickey Wayne is well known. His family has been in the area for several generations. He now owns his father's business.

And also, everyone thinks he's an ass hole. Especially after a few tequila shots. And he has those on a daily basis. This will be interesting to hear just how many people the sheriff interviews.

Tuesday Night Criminal News

Last night we dined and drank at the regular place. We decided to split the grilled salmon with vegetables (mine) and loaded baked potato (his). Our drinks were cold and all seemed well in the world. Then all hell broke loose.

We learned that on Saturday, Mickey Wayne’s wife reported him missing to the local sheriff. The sheriff and deputy have questioned a lot of people that last saw him. We heard they even questioned Joe Bob and Blondie. Guess everyone in town has heard about their “affair” and how Mickey Wayne has been verbal about his disapproval.

Tuesday they changed the missing person report to a criminal investigation. Again, we’ve only heard “rumors” at this point but it looks like there was a struggle at Mickey Wayne’s barn.

The local newspaper hasn’t published anything other than a missing person report on page 3, buried in with the public notices. Tonight we plan to snoop around another local joint and see what else we can learn.

A "Joe Bob" citing

We saw Joe Bob at a local dive that we normally don't see him at. He had a young blonde on his arm. He also acted different. Normally he's very friendly and smiling. This time he ducked tail and left quickly.

We asked about this blonde on Joe Bob's arm when we next went back to our normal bar.

"Oh, she's Dicky Wayne's ex-sister-in-law."

"If she's an ex, what's the problem?"

"Well, she and Job Bob got together while she was still married to Dicky Wayne's brother."

"Oooo. That's not good."

"When Dicky Wayne comes in, don't bring it up. We'll never get him to shut up about it."

I have changed the names of the guys involved to protect ME...not their identity.

Whew, what a web we weave. Gotta love it!!

Now that's an alarm.

The last few mornings, my alarm has been the moo of a large red momma cow in my backyard. To most people, this will sound weird but my backyard borders their pasture. This large red momma cow has a large white calf that is still nursing on her. When Junior decides to amble away from her, she begins her calls for him.

I can just imagine in cow speak she is saying, "Junior, get your ass back on this side of the fence. You know the grass isn't any different. Junior? Oh, all right. I'll be right there."

*Note: Junior's name has been changed to protect his identity!!

Over the weekend, I'll get a picture of them in my backyard and post soon.

A two-lane farm-to-market road and an extra large double wide are not compatible.

The header guy driving the pick up in front of this overly wide load actually motioned for ME to get over. And what? Drive in the ditch? I motioned for him to get over. And I then motioned at the driver of the too-wide-for-the-road to get over!

Who do they think they are? Split the thing apart if it's too wide. Geeezzzz!

And I haven't even had any caffeine yet!

Tuesdays at the VFW

Last night was the first time that my husband and I played 42 dominoes with the "professionals."

There is a group of people that range from 4 tables of 4 up to 6 tables of 4 that play 42 dominoes every Tuesday night. Normally, we go just to watch. My mom and dad play there also so we visit with them in between their games. Or we may play a quick game with partners that have a buy game but we don't offically play.

We have a 42 game on our computer and we play 3 players. We can get as daring as we want because we are only playing a computer. This is not the case at the VFW. We were scared but we did good.

They invited us back next week to offically play with them. Wow! This is big time.

Small Town Girl in the Big City

This past weekend, my husband and I spent Friday thru Sunday in big 'ol Houston. Wow. What traffic. Every highway is bumper to bumper crawling. Dallas seems like an empty tomb compared to that mess.

We stayed on the south/west side of Houston. About a block or two from our hotel there was a Houston's Restaurant. We did become nightly regulars there. We didn't eat there because we wanted our fill of fresh seafood while we could get it.

We also ventured into the Galleria. I've decided that big malls are big malls. Seen one you've seen 'em all. If there is anything retail you need, go to the good 'ol big mall.

I still prefer shopping online. The crowds drive me nuts. After about 30 minutes of walking around or rather - stop because someone stopped right in front of you, dart around them, someone else darts in front of you so you dart again.

Whew! We had to stop in the Fox Sports Bar and have a drink. Now that's a sports bar. All four walls have flat screen TVs. Probably about 8 - 10 per wall. Huge! Our regular bar at home has three TVs and they are just fine! Thank.You.Very.Much.

The bartenders were nice and the grilled carrot cake with vanilla bean ice cream I had was delicioso! We had a good time.

We weren't prepared for the 88 degrees with humidity in Houston but that warmth felt great. We are so ready for spring!

So many "up-the-nose" stories.

When we heard about the 18 month old little boy in the office beside us (his mother works there, not him) put a rock up his nose, the stories began.

They took the little boy to a local hospital. That doctor wanted to operate!! Put him under local!! The mother and grandmother said, "No way! Jose!" So they took him to Children's Hospital in Dallas. They advised to wait a day then bring him back. They couldn't see anything yet.

Well, we all gathered around to get his update and that's when the stories began. One of the girls in our office told us about one of her little sisters put a whole bunch of toilet paper up her nose. No one knew it was there until she sneezed and a bunch of white stuff came out. Too funny!

Then another one from the office next door (where this new case of up-the-nose came from) said her younger brother put a bean up his nose. No one knew about it until it sprouted. What???

I laughed way hard. If she was the kind of person that embellishes stories, I wouldn't have believed her. Since she isn't, I believe. I then told my boss that I was going to try it to see if it could really happen. Warm. Moist. Hmmmm. I'll let you know when it sprouts.

Surely there's a "you must be a red-neck" joke in that one!!

You just can't beat a good deal.

The local VFW in our town serves their wine in a glass that a goldfish could live in. No kidding. And they charge only $3.00! Sure the red wine is chilled but $3.00 for a half gallon. Well, maybe not a "half" of a gallon but at least a beer and a half worth.

Most of the time, I don't even have to buy mine either. Since I know most of the men at the bar or they know my parents, they buy us drinks all of the time. They are so generous. I'm sitting beside my husband so they know buying me a drink won't get them anything other than a hug, maybe a dance if they right music comes on.

The circus has left town! Another year of Oscar hype is over. I wasn't surprised with any of the winners. For once they made sense.

The one thing I can not understand is why, oh why, do those actresses wear the ugliest, most unflattering dresses that they can find. I just don't understand. Don't they look in the mirror? Or I wonder if the dress designer has one of those distorted image mirrors.

I remember a Seinfeld episode that Elaine buys a dress but when she tries it on at Jerry's it looks terrible. She accuses the store of having a mirror that distorts her image to look thinner and taller. That was another of many very funny episodes. I think I have been to one of those stores before also.

Surely the actresses will see taped versions of the Oscars and ask themselves, "What was I thinking?"

I guess they don't because next year will sport more unflattering dresses, just different boobs hanging out.

Oh well.